not a good day for tantrums. Took alister to football training today and he kicked off big time cos I asked him to give his coach the money for the class when he went in. I could understand if it was a stranegr and he was being shy but Roger is my little brothers best mate since primary school and Alister knows him really well and all of his family. So he got himself into a massive tantrum over it. I said you can either calm down, go in and go to your class and pay Roger or you can just go home. In the end I had to pack up all his clothes into my bag and physically carry him kicking and screaming out of the community centre. He got himself into even more of a tzz standing outside just roaring 'I WANT TO GO TO FOOTBALL' at me then he lost it and punched me in the face. What on earth can you do??? I couldn't carry him all the way home cos he is just too big now, but I couldnt let him stnd there and almost hyperventilate through crying and screaming. eventually calmed him down enough to get him to walk home himself, still only in a football strip. In Scotland in January. Not good. Surprised Social Services didnt follow us home.
He got sent to his room to have a think about everything whilst I straightened my own head out. So chuffed cos I didnt lose it with him. After 5 mins I went into his room and told him he wasn't sent to his room for having a tantrum but for punching me. He honestly doesnt know why he acts like this and he sat and sobbed that he loves me and you cant love someone you punch and I would think he doesnt love me etc etc. We had a long talk and he decided he would like to read a book on his bed for a bit so he did. All was well after that. We laughed and sang walking to nursery but he had an appalling afternoon there. hitting kids and adults and throwing chairs and sliding over the lunch table. Awful. Its so tiring being asked into the office for a chat every time I go for him. I haven't even handed out his birthday patry invites cos at the moment I am worried none of the kids will want to come.
Anyway, the nursery are still trying to get hold of the health visitor. As much as I am handling things just now it is only going to take one major episode for me to suddenly snap and I really would rather help him than end up walloping him in sheer rage. That's not going to fix anything. But I am just exhausted with it. I might not have resorted to comfort eating but i think i will have a cheeky G&T tonight. I wish I understood him. I wish he understood it himself. I just feel so helpless and not even particularly cross at him now. I just wish I could make it better for all of us.
Am going to do a Tesco online shop for now. trying to keep his diet as additive/preservative free as I can but it's amazing - everything has them in. Fruit squash, cooked meat, yoghurt...everything. Will try my best though.
Night all.
Big Love
Jill
xxxxx
