Mrs Badcrumble's Diary

Well it's been a relatively uneventful week, culminating in a pyjamas day today.  I have hardly seen Alister as he's been watching dvds and playing in his room.  I managed to move from PJs to joggers and a vest but Ally hasn't been out his PJs all day!

We just ordered in pizza for tea and now nearly time for alister to get into clean PJs and go back to bed.  It's been a lovely calm day but only because i didnt need to get Alister to go anywhere, otherwise it would have been hellish.  But we didnt so it wasnt so its all good.

Alister was off for half term Wed-Fri last week.  I asked my boss for a few hours off on Thursday afternon and he said to take the whole day, what a result!!!  So that was unexpected but much appreciated.  I had my first tutorial for my new course on Saturday which was great. It was a really good lively chatty bunch and I got lots from it.  I always feel really motivated when I come out of tutorials so hoping to get stuck in to the first part of my first assessment over the next couple of days.

Wendy looked after Alister for me whilst I was there, took him and Ellie down to Molly's soft play at Ocean Terminal and he had a ball.  They were in the Build a Bear Workshop and he's decided he would like that for his birthday so nearer the time I will take him over to pick one.  Then when I got out of Uni we met at Wannaburger and had a Valentines lunch with our little darlings.  Then Al fell asleep going home on the bus, never happens!!!! 

Right I'm going to try and convince the boy that he needs to have a bath and put clean PJs on but i think if he kicks up a stink I will let it go, just dont have the energy to fight it tonight.

Night All
Hugs
Jill
xxxxx

Well the big green family tree went down a storm with Alister's teacher.  He told me he stood up in front of the class and explained that his gran and grandad are at the top and the ladies on the tree who are now a Blair have their maiden names shown and that my brothers kids are his cousins. He got a big clap from the whole class. He said he was really jealous because one of his friends did a big family tree too.  We had a chat about it and it turns out her mum drew the outline of a tree and his friend stuck on photos of her family and it wasnt coloured in.  His was a big green tree he painted himself and he drew pictures of everyone himself and wrote their names.  He cheered up loads after that, bless him!

So i went to Dundee today.  1hr 40 mins on bus there and I caught up on 3 programmes i needed to watch for Uni, saw the solicitor, went for a coffee with my mum, got the bus back and got a load of studying done.  Alister had gone home from school with his pal Josh and his mum, Steph, and I met them at their house.  The boys had their tea then Steph and I had a chinese. Got home about 7.30 and am now a big lazy blob on the sofa.  Looking forward to a day in the house tomorrow with no plans.

Alister is off for half term Wed-Fri this week - typical it had to be the days I work!  He will come in with me and wath dvds or something.  Might take Thursday afternoon off to break the week up a wee bit for him.

Right, think i'll head to bed folks.

Night all.
Big luv
Jill
xxxxx

Today started off quietly.  I had a shower, washed my skanky hair after 3 days on the sofa, we had breakfast, Alister was watching scooby doo dvds yet again.  I had no food in the house and had been saying to Ally al morning that we were going to Asda.  I knew he was going to kick off when the time came and boy was I right.

I left the house, leaving him trashing the place just so I didn't react and give him what he wanted. I took the bins down and had a slow stroll back up the path.  Went in to find most rooms in a bit of a state, then got my arm grabbed and alister's nails sunk into me.  Still managed to not flinch or speak to him.  There's no point when he's like that, he just starts screaming.  He learned the bahaviour from me before I got help for my depression etc. Now it's a case of re-educating him into another way, aswell as helping him deal with his anger and controlling his temper.  Seeing the school doctor soon about it cos I can't handle it alone.

ANyway we ended up having a really nice day ater all that!  We did go to Asda, got stuff for tea then went to my work to see the Radio Cars guys who meet once a month.  After that we pinched some paper from my office for Al's homework, dropped that off at home and Alister picked up one of his scooters.  We had a walk round to the post office to post a birthday card thn home to get cracking.  I made a beef stew and dumplings for tea whilst Alister drew pictures of everyone in the family for his Family Tree homework.  We didnt include his dad, no point really cos I dont know anything about his family.  So I gave Ally a square of paper for each member of our family and he drew their picture and wrote their name on it.  Then we got his easel out and a long bit of paper and he painted a brilliant big tree to stick the pictures too - it looks fantastic!  And he was so chilled when he was painting, definitely goingto get him painting lots more.  It seems to make him so happy and relaxed and he has a real talent for it.

Then he drew a couple of maps for my cousin Nicola who needs kids drawings for Uni and i'll take them to dundee with me tomorrow. A busy wee aternoon. Al had his bath no bother, cleaned his teeth then snuggled into my bed and he read me 2 stories.  His reading is really coming on, he sounds out every word and doesnt get annoyed or frustrated which really isnt like him!

Am now slouched on the sofa watching last nights Casualty before watching Dancing on Ice.  Rock & Roll!!

Big luv,
Jill
xxxxx

I have the worst headache today, just cant shake it.  I've had a rotten cold recently and ws sick at work on Thursday so am having a couple of days on the sofa just taking it easy, lovely!

So it's been a pretty quiet few days. Was at work on Wednesday, then at a meeting all morning on thursday and home by 2.30 not well and stayed off on friday.  Alister and I havent left the house today and I feel a bit bad cos its a beautiful day outside but he is over the moon at playing in his room all day.  Must tidy it tomorrow cos he's dragged everything out from under his cabin bed and now i cant see the carpet! 

Saturday is pizza night - very exciting!  Not sure what toppings we are going for tonight but might get a movie on on Sky and have piza followed by microwave popcorn.  Rock & roll!

Have watched a few movies over the past few days, my favourite being Sexy Beast. What is it about Ray Winstone???  OOOOOOO!!!!! He's just such a proper blokey bloke! Also watched American Psycho which was mildly disturbing!  And yesterday I watched Tarantino's Death Proof. And if you didn't know it was a Tarantino film, and he didn't have his usual couple of scenes in it you would still be able to guess it was him!  Blimey.  I loved it, but thinking back there wasn't much of a storyline more a stage for some gratuitous 70's style Dukes Of Hazzard stylee cars and driving.  Oh and the brutal murders of course.  But it was a really cool film, i loved it.

This is my first dry weekend for a long time. Off booze for the foreseeable future because of the medication i'm on.  i think i'll miss the couple of glasses of red I usually have on a Saturday night for a little while but no doubt I'll soon forget about it.  Would rather feel well quicker than partake in it.

Right i'm off to see what other films I can find to watch.
Have a good weekend all!

Luv & hugs
Jill
xxxxx

Mrs Badcrumble's sister blog has now joined us - http://the-only-way-is-up.blog.co.uk/

big love

Jill

xxxxx

It's been an upsy downsy sort of a week.  Unfortunetly, human nature means I lean more to the downsy feeling and tend to forget the upsy bits.  Never mind, onwards and upwards....

Alister is still being very unpredictable.  The silliest thing sends him of into a nasty spiral of screaming, hitting, nipping, i got his nails dug into my face today... on Wednesday i hit rock bottom.  The second I woke up i burst into tears. I got up, got him his breakfast, told him to clean his teeth and got the usual barrage of plain old nastiness. I took to my bed and just couldnt stop crying.  I realised then that I either got up, gave myself a damn hard shake and got on with it, or I phoned the doc and faced up to the fact that I could feel myself slipping back into a very dark depression.  I mentally kicked my own arse, had a shower, put a sparkly top on, put on some make up and a pile of spangly bracelets, GHD'd my hair to within an inch of its life til it was a sleek glossy sight to behold, kicked alister's arse into the bathroom then into his uniform and marched his skinny littl butt into school. HA!

But if i'm brutally honest, every day is a bit of an uphill battle right now.  I just hope i dont run out of energy to climb...

Anyway - the rest of the week - I decided that my fear of remotely scary movies is ridiculous.  I havent even watched any of the Scary Movie movies and i know they are spoofs but I JUST CANT!!!! So I am planning this week to watch American Psycho and Sexy Beast.  Both an old school 18 rating so bring it on!

So Alister and I are just back from visiting the Formby Blairs. We had planned to leave after Al came out of school on Friday but he was up sick in the early hours of Friday and had a very high temperature. He, of course, was sick on my bedroom carpet.  I think someone is trying to tell me to just get a new carpet!!!!  So he rested on the sofa all morning, then i dragged him into my work for a bit where he was a huge help doing the invoices!  Then we went to pick up the hire car.  I've been thinking about getting a car once we get Gran Blair's flat sold and fancied a Kia. Just so happens the hire car was a brand new Kia Cee'd.  Blimey it was lovely to drive!  Weather permitting I will be driving to Dundee and back tomorrow and I cant wait to get out driving it again!!

So we got the car, got packed up, filled up with diesel and off we went.  decent weather al in all which isn't normal for me on the M6, usually its the worst fog and rain the whole way!  Arrived about 6pm Friday and left about 2.30pm today - got home at 7 so good time.  Alister been lying in bed sobbing about wanting to go back but i think he's fallen asleep now.

He was great all weekend but had an almighty tantrum about sod all this morning including top of lungs screaming, screeching and roaring. Awful.....  But we got home to a letter from the school doctor saying his follow up appointment is next monday so we need to talk about alister's anger problems with him before someone at school is on the receiving end of it and he ends up in serious trouble.  I know nobody said parenthood was meant to be easy but it feels like I have been hit with every shit thing that kids go through.  STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP JILL - kick your own ass,have a glass of wine and a couple of chocs and chill girl.....

night all.
love ya.
Jill
xxxxx