It's been an upsy downsy sort of a week. Unfortunetly, human nature means I lean more to the downsy feeling and tend to forget the upsy bits. Never mind, onwards and upwards....
Alister is still being very unpredictable. The silliest thing sends him of into a nasty spiral of screaming, hitting, nipping, i got his nails dug into my face today... on Wednesday i hit rock bottom. The second I woke up i burst into tears. I got up, got him his breakfast, told him to clean his teeth and got the usual barrage of plain old nastiness. I took to my bed and just couldnt stop crying. I realised then that I either got up, gave myself a damn hard shake and got on with it, or I phoned the doc and faced up to the fact that I could feel myself slipping back into a very dark depression. I mentally kicked my own arse, had a shower, put a sparkly top on, put on some make up and a pile of spangly bracelets, GHD'd my hair to within an inch of its life til it was a sleek glossy sight to behold, kicked alister's arse into the bathroom then into his uniform and marched his skinny littl butt into school. HA!
But if i'm brutally honest, every day is a bit of an uphill battle right now. I just hope i dont run out of energy to climb... 
Anyway - the rest of the week - I decided that my fear of remotely scary movies is ridiculous. I havent even watched any of the Scary Movie movies and i know they are spoofs but I JUST CANT!!!! So I am planning this week to watch American Psycho and Sexy Beast. Both an old school 18 rating so bring it on!
So Alister and I are just back from visiting the Formby Blairs. We had planned to leave after Al came out of school on Friday but he was up sick in the early hours of Friday and had a very high temperature. He, of course, was sick on my bedroom carpet. I think someone is trying to tell me to just get a new carpet!!!! So he rested on the sofa all morning, then i dragged him into my work for a bit where he was a huge help doing the invoices! Then we went to pick up the hire car. I've been thinking about getting a car once we get Gran Blair's flat sold and fancied a Kia. Just so happens the hire car was a brand new Kia Cee'd. Blimey it was lovely to drive! Weather permitting I will be driving to Dundee and back tomorrow and I cant wait to get out driving it again!!
So we got the car, got packed up, filled up with diesel and off we went. decent weather al in all which isn't normal for me on the M6, usually its the worst fog and rain the whole way! Arrived about 6pm Friday and left about 2.30pm today - got home at 7 so good time. Alister been lying in bed sobbing about wanting to go back but i think he's fallen asleep now.
He was great all weekend but had an almighty tantrum about sod all this morning including top of lungs screaming, screeching and roaring. Awful..... But we got home to a letter from the school doctor saying his follow up appointment is next monday so we need to talk about alister's anger problems with him before someone at school is on the receiving end of it and he ends up in serious trouble. I know nobody said parenthood was meant to be easy but it feels like I have been hit with every shit thing that kids go through. STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP JILL - kick your own ass,have a glass of wine and a couple of chocs and chill girl.....
night all.
love ya.
Jill
xxxxx
